Gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off. - Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

Not happy.

Kyle, Bronwyn and Trevor are all sick. Trevor wasn't sick until today, so it wasn't him. Bronwyn or Kyle made me sick. I now have a raw throat and a flowing nose. Ugh. And food isn't appealing, nor is water. Ugh.

I really hope that it's just Bronwyn's cold, though. Kyle, purportedly, was four degrees away from having hallucinations. AND HE WAS STILL AT WORK!! It's no wonder I did all the work closing Whites two days ago. He's a crazy man. Because the shop boys "don't call in sick". That's silly, if you ask me. It's not as if they don't have enough guys to do all the work if one isn't there. And Kyle, I think, is the least important of the shop boys, because he's also the newest. But I really really hope that he's back tomorrow, because it'll be the last time I get to see him before he goes to school, and I really want to say goodbye. Because he's leaving this weekend, and I'm obviously not working.

And that's why I'm so mad that I'm sick. Andrea's wedding, then the head shave, and then it's the 24th, which is both the day that I'm leaving to go camping for five days, and also the one-year anniversary of Geoffrey's death. This is a pretty rocky time. Super exciting, but hard, too.

Because I keep on remembering the full-fledged panic I was in last year at this time. And I want to talk about it, but the only people I see are the people at work, and they don't understand. Because as much as it sucks and all, I don't want their sympathy, because it doesn't really hurt anymore. Maybe I'm just numb to the pain, but I don't hurt anymore. It's just a fact. There's nothing I can do about it. I don't even wish for him on falling stars or at 11:11 or on those seeds you're supposed to catch and wish on anymore. Because it doesn't hurt anymore. I've moved on. And I wouldn't go back to who I was before he died for any money or any other reward in the world. I like this new and improved me.

And now I'm going to go lie down for a bit, because I have to fold wedding bulletins later and I'm tired. And then, when I'm done, I'm taking Neo Citran to knock myself out, and going to sleep. Yay sleep! (Although, if I have more dreams like last night, it may be... more interesting than I care admit...)

DFTBA,
Jennie.Rae