These are hard times. The world hurts. We live in fear and forget to walk with hope. But hope has not forgotten you. So ask it to dinner...

It's probably hungry, and would appreciate the invitation. - Libba Bray

I've been lost more times than I can count today. I tried, and failed, to find the library. I got lost trying to find the bus stop off campus. I almost got lost on the way to the grocery store, and I tried to go in the wrong door to my residence building.

It's hard to imagine that in a year or two I'll know this place like the back of my hand. Right now, everything looks the same. All the building are the same ugly '70s style. All the pathways look the same. The only reason I can find my building at all is because it's near (but not beside) the construction. Argh!

But I now know how to get to the grocery store which is also my bank, and that's important. Alanna and I are going to the bookstore tomorrow, and that'll be good. I know where that is - I bused past it this afternoon. We're getting up early to beat the crowds.

And then on Thursday, classes start! I'll be sure to post something about that then.

DFTBA
jr

Hello world! I'm gonna get you! - Lord Voldemort (A Very Potter Musical version)

Seriously, though, I thought it'd be different.

I was all excited about going away to university, and now here I am, at university, and all I can say is I'm bored out of my tree. I mean, classes don't start 'til Wednesady, I have no friends, and there's really only so much time you can spend on the internet and reading books. I went out to play beach volleyball today with my sister because I wanted to get out so bad.

I guess I shouldn't complain, though. The weather hasn't been great, so I explored the tunnels for a while last night. Once classes start then I'm sure I'll have more to do. I just thought I'd feel different when I moved away. I don't.

DFTBA
jr

When it comes to dancing, it doesn't matter what you look like - it's all about the joy you feel. - David Levithan

Dear Interwebs,

I feel I must apologise for my random absences. Life gets so busy, you know? And while I'll never forget you, sometimes I just don't have time to sit down and write about the things happening in my life.

Here's a brief update: I'm going to university. WHAT?

I'm going to join a new vlog, because the last one failed epicly. WHAT?

I'm part of two bands. WHAT?

Well, alright. I'm not totally happy about going to university, although I am glad to be getting out of this small town. Soon I'll be at Carleton University, and I'll be studying Humanities. Which is all fine and dandy, but I'd rather be out exploring and encountering the world than sitting in a dusty classroom discussing things I've never experienced. But I've already paid seven hundred dollars for my residence deposit, so I'm stuck.

Yeah, ONC was a bit of a let down. We weren't committed. I tried to keep everything together, but there's only so much you can do when you're working with six other people, all but one or two of whom are older than you. So we lay the Ontario Nerd Conglomeration to rest, and we start a new vlog. I'm not sure of many specifics, because I'm not actually organising it. I don't know what we're going to call the channel, I don't know about the launch date, or anything like that. I know that the girl organising it is called Heather, and my friend Molly is most likely going to join us. But beyond that, I know as much as you do.

David and the Hamlets is a project that I'm working on with Allison, Molly and Emily (three of my besties). We play shock music (Shakespeare rock!) although currently we only have one and a half songs. Only Molly is really good at writing songs, and there aren't really and shock songs out there yet. I feel like we're pioneers, like Chameleon Circuit with Trock, except that there was already trock music before the name trock was coined. Also, there's McCabestra and the Troubadors (a very tentative name), which happened by accident. It's currently me, my ukulele named George, Sarah, her guitar, and Richard. I don't know if anything will come of either of these bands, but hopefully soon we'll have something recorded and edited and posted on YouTube. I'll make sure I put something up on my channel and the Hamlets' channel when I know what's going on.

And apart from that and a strong desire to buy Alex Day's new album (but not having permission from the parents yet), nothing really is new.

DFTBA,
JR

Your wrinkled eyes betray the joy with which you smile. - Mika Penniman, Stuck in the Middle

I just realized that I haven't posted since August.

That's not because I have nothing to say. It's just because I've been... busy. I guess. Right now I should be doing homework, but I just can't force myself to think about the Ballets Russes anymore, so I'm not doing it. I should also be doing history and philosophy readings (coincidence that we're talking about John Locke in both classes?) but I just can't bring myself to it.

My dad just got back from parent-teacher interviews. Once again, all my teachers have glowing reports about me. I guess they're all card-carrying members of my fan club. The only members, it sometimes seems. I know, I have lots of friends, and all, but in all honesty, I really only enjoy spending time with a few of them. I guess I'm like Pudge in Looking for Alaska - I'm friends with them because no one else will be, and no one else will be friends with me. But back on topic - Mrs Van Loon seems to think that I'm going into the UN or something and I'm going to single-handedly eradicate poverty, Mr Baker thinks I'm going to go on to become some great philosopher, Mrs Rodriguez thinks I'm going to study history and become a teacher or something. Miss Brouwer is the only one with a realistic veiw of my future - she thinks I'm going to do whatever the heck I want to do, and I'm going to excel at it. She, apparently, said that she's going to miss me next year, although I really don't know why she would. We hardly ever talk, and I'm super-shy in her class. She thinks that I push myself and that if everyone would push themselves like I do then the world would be full of much more fulfilled people. I only want to do well so I can keep my average above 85%, and preferably around a 90%.

Agh, but my head is spinning. I'm trying to figure out how what I'm learning in philosophy affects the way I live (so far I haven't come up with anything because it's all so ABSTRACT!). I'm trying to figure out what school to go to. I basically feel like I'm trying to figure out my whole life, at just barely seventeen. In less than a year, I'll be moved out, and moved in and settled into my new life - it's scary, but it's also really exciting.

This is definitely turning out to be one of the best years of my life.

DFTBA
Jennie.Rae

Nerd girls are the world's greatest, under-utilised romantic resource. - John Green

I've become addicted to this. It's like journaling only much more better! Because, in my opinion, all writing is meant to be read, and a journal isn't often read. And that is why there are updates nearly every day. But please, leave comments, people! If you don't have a gmail account, sign up for one, just so you can leave comments! You don't have to use it - I have three accounts, now, and only use one during the school year, one all the time, and the third for this blog. I love comments, they make me feel warm and fuzzy inside!

So, basically, I feel like I'm wasting my life, here. What is the point? I'm not learning anything, I'm not doing anything constructive. I wish I'd enrolled in summer school, because then I could actually be doing something. Although, I don't know how many of the courses I'm taking next year they actually run in summer school. And I'm not making any contribution to society, working in retail. I wish I could just get on with my life. Summer, while I love the warmth of it (not that there's been much, lately), is a waste of time. I almost wish that I could go to school from February until November, and then have December and January off. I'd rather be in my air-conditioned school (alright, fine, it's more of a refrigerated school) than my non-air-conditioned house. Somehow there always seems to be more to do in the winter. And then I could actually play in the snow, which I love to do.

And now, some "alternate" meanings for DFTBA. (Because I found some on YouTube that I liked.) Darling, Fetch The Battle Axe. Dinosaurs Failed To Beat Astroid. Do Fish Take Baths Alot? I can't remember any of the other ones, I can't find the video where they had it, and my father needs the computer.

So,

DFTBA for now,

Jennie.Rae